This letter was inspired from Christine at Self Made Chick after a comment I made about my parents and how they are “obnoxious and self centered people”. Christine has successfully managed to leave the cubicle of work and carve her own life in the freelancing industry. Something I have personally managed to achieve not so long ago. You can read this in my post Self Employed in 7 Month.
Yesterday my dad made a comment that really got my blood boiling again. He and his wife (my mother in law) have traveled Australia in the last 3 years stopping by at our house infrequently to spend some time in the area. Yesterday they went to attend an opening of a big new shopping centre in town, where some 100 million dollars were being invested by the center’s management.
Upon returning dad said ” that would be something for you guys. Now would be a good time to open your own restaurant and cash in on the obvious, since they (the shopping center) wouldn’t invest that kind of money if it wasn’t worthwhile”.
That statement alone was enough to write this following letter to my parents. For some reason I doubt that they actually care about the way I’m thinking, or where I’m coming from. But if it helps just one of you to do what YOU want to do in life and not what your parents are trying to project onto you, then go ahead and do it!
Dear mum and dad,
It was inevitable that I write this letter to you, since it had to be done eventually. But before I go into my little rant, let me say how grateful I am about the fact that you raised me as a decent human being. From you I learned about respecting others. The irony here is that you don’t seem to practice what you preach.
I also learned to address older people with respect and helping them while trying to board a plane, bus or train. Hell, I’m even know to occasionally carry their shopping to their car if I see them struggling with their load.
Further to this you taught me how to behave correctly when approaching a group of people (does this exclude my friends) and only speak when spoken to.
You allowed me to have a decent education, visit a decent school and learn the basics of society and its behaviors. Even though today I sometimes wonder what schools are REALLY good for? Never mind, since this is totally beyond the scope of this letter I won’t bore you with my own views.
I think it is fair to say that I grew up to be a decent human being with all the good and bad character traits I have.
But here is what really gets to me.
When you suggested to me yesterday why I should open a restaurant in town I realized that you still don’t belief into me and my dreams. How can you be so condescending! Yes, I did fail in MLM (like you snickeringly bring the point across when you said “I told you so”) but so what! It was the stepping stone I needed to get to where I am now. How come total strangers whom I never met before believe into me so much more than you ever have?
I think I proved to anyone by now that I’m quite capable of running my own business.
So what is with you and your total discredit with me and my business? And then you have the guts to take up my time and ask me to interrupt my business day to do all kinds of tasks for you. If I was to count all the times I have spent for you and your (urgent issues – mind you, you are pensioned aren’t you) in the past 3 years, it would be weeks. Weeks of income lost mind you, but you don’t care about that, do you? It’s all about you – and then you again.
Isn’t it strange that my own blood behaves like total obnoxious pricks when it comes to my online business? How about some understanding – or at least trying to understand me and what I actually do. Is it really too much to ask for?
After all, I have managed to escape the slavery of working in a kitchen for a measly salary. Shouldn’t that be enough to be commended from you. You ought to be happy with me instead of trying to project your own (failed, or non existent dreams) onto me. You know, not everybody is happy to live a boring mediocre life.
And just for the record dad: No, I’m not F*@!#ng interested to get back into hospitality ever! And that includes running my own restaurant. Did you get that? I hope you did, since I’m so sick of having to tell you that I’m actually very happy now.
You know, it really sucks being put down from you all the time while trying to follow and actively working and living my dreams.
But then you always were good at putting other people down. It is sad really but that is the reality. Both you and mum have never ever encouraged me to “just go for it”. And I guess you will never change either. Instead you expect me to change to FIT into your own beliefs.
Well I’m afraid to say that this won’t ever happen. See, in the past I was happy to discuss people (I’m ashamed to admit this actually), but today I’m happy to discuss ideas and business related subjects. While this might bore you, it actually bores me to discuss people and the same things you seem to go on about every time we see each other. Discussing ideas, dreams and business however helps me and many others to fullfill their own dreams in life.
Discussing people is so yesterday and I can’t stand listening to another episode of what “your sister said at the last family gathering”. Please, cut her a break and let the past be the past and concentrate on the good things in the world for a change.
Anyway, I had to let you guys know why I’m so deliriously happy here in Australia. Besides following our dream to migrate to the land of our dreams, there was another reason for our move all those years ago. To be as far away as possible from all the negativity you so clearly project. Carving out a new life far away from gossip, far from a mediocre life and the constant bickering between family and relatives made me realize how important it is to concentrate on the good things in life.
It is called escapism and those who do escape, do it for a reason. To get away from their current circumstances and build a new reality. Sure, I could have stayed and endured boring family get together’s, worked hard for a boss that I hate and then die of a heart attack before I took my pension. Oh, yeah, before you mention it, allow me please: yes, I can also die of a heart attack now, any day, but there is one huge difference. If I do, it will be with a happy mind, not a frustrated one.
While I respect your views, I’m glad that you decided to go back to your country dealing with the same old. This leaves me more energy to enjoy my life here in Australia.
I thank you for what you have done while I was younger and maybe one day (when I rake in the millions) you will finally start to see that supporting me would have been the right thing to do. I’m just afraid it might be too late then.
Your daughter, always