Your Opinions Could Offend Someone
I read a post yesterday alarming me to the fact that we can be brought into the middle of an online dispute, without even being aware of it.
Vered from Mommy Grind was accused of taking sides after leaving a comment on a popular blog. All she wanted was to commend the blogger for a post well written and in return she got involved in a flaming war she wasn’t even aware of. Apparently this “war” cost her some long term subscribers as a result and she can be forgiven to wonder what went wrong.
This raises a question though: “What is it with bloggers these days and their ever increasing need to publicly humiliate others?”
Do bloggers feel the need to hurt, just because they are “invisible”? Or is the online vehicle responsible for our behavior instead? I know we could go on endlessly discussing this problem as long as there are blogging wars going on. In previous posts we established quite clearly the responsibilities we have as bloggers toward one another.
When I look at the various events when bloggers have publicly slogged each other, I see a total lack of respect. What baffles me is the vehicle we use. We portray to have some air of worldly knowledge by using the Internet, while looking down our noses at those who don’t.
So how come we can’t show respect, courtesy and acceptance of the other persons opinion, instead of biting each others ears off? Has the Internet made us a lesser quality human being?
Definition of a blog
What is the definition of a blog really and why does it matter so much when it comes to being more acceptable of other bloggers?
Here is the description from What Is, which in my eyes is pretty accurate:
A blog (short for weblog) is a personal online journal that is frequently updated and intended for general public consumption. Blogs are defined by their format: a series of entries posted to a single page in reverse-chronological order. Blogs generally represent the personality of the author or reflect the purpose of the Web site that hosts the blog. Topics sometimes include brief philosophical musings, commentary on Internet and other social issues, and links to other sites the author favors, especially those that support a point being made on a post.
The author of a blog is often referred to as a blogger. Many blogs syndicate their content to subscribers using RSS, a popular content distribution tool.
Since we have established that a blog is really an online journal, how can we abuse others for voicing their concerns, beliefs, experiences and their preferences?
Aren’t we supposed to live in a free world. Allowed to have our own opinions. Plus, who says that we are right anyway?
I think when we interact with each other as we do online, we will most frequently come across other people’s blogs and not agree with what they are saying. Which is fine. But not agreeing doesn’t mean to go into a full fledged online war.
But I’ll be damned to hold back my own opinion
If that is what you were thinking, so am I. I don’t hold back in stating my opinions if I feel like I have to. However, there is an art to how we communicate it. I suppose sometimes we need a near psychology degree in order not to step on other people’s toes. In the end, it’s all a matter of respect.
Treat others as you like to be treated!
While I feel for Vered because she was caught unexpectedly in something nasty, I realize that we can never agree with everybody and there will always be people who have the wrong picture about our intentions – our personality.
So be it. I stopped worrying about what others think of me a few years ago. I know who I am, the people I love know who I am, my friends know who I am and this is enough for me.
Is it enough for you too?
About the Author: I'm a passionate freelance writer and problogger. To further build my business I'm also in the process of building my own niche empire which pays me residual income.
vered | Jul 3, 2008 | Reply
I think one of my problems is, that I haven’t yet managed to stop worrying about what others think about me. But I am working on it.
What surprises me most is, that bloggers attack each other even though they do NOT write anonymously. I would think that if you are not being anonymous, you would act more the way you act in real life, but I guess there’s still the false sense of hiding behind a computer screen.
Ed | Jul 3, 2008 | Reply
It’s a shame bloggers spend more time attacking people than actually brainstorming how to share new insights. This is also one of the reasons why most netizens have chosen to hide in anonymity. There are always bad hats who are on the pounce to single out others.
Tonie | Jul 3, 2008 | Reply
I totally agree with you, we are all entitled to our opinions, that is after all what freedom is about!
We might not like other opinions but that does not give anyone the right to abuse them. It will do everyone good to remember – “what comes around, goes around” – do onto others as you would like done onto yourself and we all have a place under the sun.
Always have fun!
Monika | Jul 3, 2008 | Reply
@ Vered: Thanks for stopping by. You know when i read your post yesterday I was really shocked. Up until then I had seen some pretty nasty stuff but to get accidentally involved while trying to do the right thing is beyond me.
I’m sure you will stop worrying about others when you are ready. It took me some 35 years to do the same.
Monika | Jul 3, 2008 | Reply
@ Ed: I love your word “netizens” how very creative. You are so right though. All this goes back to spending time effectively instead of wasting it with useless banter.
Monika | Jul 3, 2008 | Reply
@ Tonie: Your statement is so right. It ties in perfectly with mine in the post. Unfortunately many might have forgotten how to do good by others. The race for profits makes evil people out of the most unexpected contestants.
Thank you for taking the time and say how you feel.
Tonie | Jul 3, 2008 | Reply
I had an old mentor whom I loved dearly because of his wisdom and his favorite advice to me was always, do not be greedy, share and do it with love and you will have abundance in life including the things that matter more than money, friends, happiness, peace, etc. There is enough for all of us!
Virtual Impax | Jul 3, 2008 | Reply
This king of “troll” commenting is actually being touted as a way to increase traffic and RSS subscribers to your blog.
Unfortunately, it does work as a traffic getting device however, what kind of traffic does that kind of behavior bring?
I’m sure you’d rather have 100 readers who hire you to do that voo doo that you do so well rather than 1,000,000 “drive by” readers.
Troll like comments just encourage drive by readers. Unfortunately, some people are driven by their RSS subscriber stats and nothing else. I personally prefer your approach.
Ellen Moore | Jul 4, 2008 | Reply
Monika, thanks for your viewpoint. May the Golden Rule rule!
Ed | Jul 4, 2008 | Reply
Oh that’s a word used locally here and also in traditional press for people like bloggers or forum hoggers who spent alot of time online.
Hendry Lee | Jul 4, 2008 | Reply
“On the internet, nobody knows you’re a dog.”
But most likely they are human being, just like us. You are so true. Most people forget about this.
They say something rude, something they won’t even say to others in “real” life.
That’s something we can’t control, so the next best thing is to “stop worrying and start living,” as Dale Carnegie says.
Lin | Jul 4, 2008 | Reply
I’ve actually seen quite a few online war-of-words flying around the blogosphere in recent weeks and months. Besides the one you mention here, there was another very public war of words on Twitter very recently, started by a so-called A-Lister mommie blogger, and the fallout from it continues as others are posting about it in support of the victim.
I often wonder if those that start this adult-version of online bullying have given any thought to the legacy they are leaving for the future. Children, grandchildren, friends in coming years may very well begin genealogy research on “who was so-and-so” and will likely find every shred of this nonsense to add to their family collection. What shameful behavior for adults to do this. Don’t we have enough to worry about with kids and teens bullying each other online and offline? Yeeeesh.
Monika | Jul 4, 2008 | Reply
@ Tonie: My words. Your mentor sounded like a very wise man indeed. I share his statement and believe the same to be true. Thanks for sharing this with us too.
Monika | Jul 4, 2008 | Reply
@ Virtual Impax: Yes Kathy, I agree. I think we tend to focus too much on the numbers rather than the quality of readers.
I used to worry about RSS myself but in the end it is a meaningless number. However, the quality of comments I get truly mean much more.
Monika | Jul 4, 2008 | Reply
@ Ellen: Thank you for stopping by.
The Golden Rule. LOL, love this.
Monika | Jul 4, 2008 | Reply
@ Hendry Lee: Oh I love Dale’s stuff. As a matter of fact, I have some of his books. Love all those old style personal development gurus. Great wisdom.
Monika | Jul 4, 2008 | Reply
@ Lin: Yep, good question. Makes me wonder. I wasn’t aware that Twitter has now become a public bullying platform too. Whatever next.
Good to see there are way too many good people online who don’t approve of all the name calling anyway. I appreciate your comment Lin.
Cath Lawson | Jul 4, 2008 | Reply
Hi Monika – I didn’t see the original post, but I read Vered’s post. And it’s a shame she lost subscribers through it.
I just don’t understand these blogging wars. But some people will always try to get ahead by making others look bad, in blogging and in life.
Monika | Jul 5, 2008 | Reply
@ Cath: Me neither, all I saw was Vered’s post about the whole thing. I don’t know who else was involved and i don’t really care for it. What I do care about is ethics and how we treat each other online.
I suppose the more people voice their concerns the more others might take notice and think before they become too abusive next time.
At least that is what I’m hoping for. Might be wishful thinking.
Louise | Jan 31, 2009 | Reply
I think we have to be aware of the responsibility in delivering the message. It’s the “how” over the “what” that matters.
Pls. find time to read these blogs:
http://almamather.multiply.com/journal/item/26/NEW_TREND_IN_SOCIAL_COMMUNICATION_!
http://almamather.multiply.com/journal/item/23/Let_Freedom_Roll_!!!!