Is there something in this world that lights your fire like nothing else? What is it? I saw this imagine on Flickr last night when I was browsing the selection for another blog post and this blog post title popped into my head.
Fire is essential for survival. Both in the mind and in physical terms. We need fire to warm our bodies on cold winter nights and fire to enliven our minds in order to feel alive.
For some, the fire is related to loved ones, for others it is their vocation. Regardless of where the fire originates, we need it to be wholesome.
People who are depressed have lost their fire. They are confused about the world, themselves and often disillusioned with the world as a whole. Depressed people don’t smile, they forgot how to laugh and enjoy life and they certainly don’t have fire in them.
I know, because at one stage in my life I was in this dark and cold place too. It isn’t a nice feeling as some of you probably know from personal experience.
For me, it came about by doing what I hated and despised so much it drove me into depression. Luckily though, I re-discovered life and found my fire to pull me out of the dark abyss.
I saw the light. This light was my freelance writing business. For you, it might be your new born baby, your dog, your nan or your partner.
I have been in this business for just a little longer than one year now and still, every single day I wake up with the fire in my belly. I treasure my ride and the opportunities it brings me along the way.
I’m also having a ton of fun. Meeting great people like you guys and forging new friendships that might last a lifetime. Plus, I’m planning for a future even more exciting than the current one (if that is possible at all).
My fire is burning, bright, steady and strong. It has survived many storms, rain and snow. Despite this, it is burning with a passion so big it often stops me from sleeping at night.
This is my fire - what is yours?
Monika
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Its been a bumpy road but I think my fire is sorting itself out - I have accidently become a writer along the way and now google has let one of my sites out of the sandbox - suddenly it all seems worthwhile!
@ Lissie: How awesome to hear that. I know you put in a lot of hard work for some time now and you are being rewarded for it. I’m really happy for you. If you keep it going I’m sure you will do fabulous.
BTW, how is that “thing” going we talked about?
Take care
Monika,
It’s obvious that you are doing what you were created to do!!!
I’ve been doing my thing for 10 years now and I have to admit, there are times when the fire dims. During those times, I’ll peruse the want ads and think about going to work for someone else. (I’ll then remember what TRUE darkness is, so I don’t actually send a resume.)
But then, I’ll get a report from a client about something great that is happening for them thanks to their website/blog and suddenly, the fire re-ignites and I’m off and running again.
@ Kathy: Thank you. I guess I am. Obviously I don’t know where this will lead me but for now I am very happy indeed. It might eventuate into other possibilities altogether. We never know what happens around the corner anyway.
You know, the times when the fie dims is only normal. I experience similar notions and all though it isn’t necessarily the fire I also wonder at times why I bother. But then like you say, something good comes along and I know it is all worthwhile. You are not alone, we walk this journey together in many ways.
Thanks for sharing
First off, I have to admit that when I read the words “Fire is essential for survival.” I immediately heard the theme song to “Survivor” Oh-we-oh-we-ooooohhhh-weeee-oh-we-ah-la-eh-oh-we…
Anyway. Living out of your passion is a beautiful thing. And you’re right, depression, illness and grief can steal that fire out of your life, and leave you without sufficient fuel and energy to do much beyond basic survival.
For me, the fire doesn’t come from any one thing so much as several key things. My most important relationships, satisfying work, and a healthy spiritual life.
Really enjoyed this post.
@ Kat French: LOL, I’m glad to ignite your musical ear with this post. I love the survivor show and it looks like you do too.
It’s great you mentioned relationship and a spiritual life. Naturally this is also part of my happiness since i couldn’t imagine living without my husband or even my beautiful bids. They fulfill me in many ways.
However, I have found that when I was depressed no matter what hubby said to me or did pulled me out of my misery. Therefore I have come to believe that we need that fire so much in our working life, otherwise everything else around us doesn’t make much sense - because we spend so much time of our lives at work.
I suppose it is the balance that is key too. Does this make sense to you?
When I was raised, I was told: “never settle for anything less than the best.”
Naturally, I developed goals for myself. Knowing and believing that I could achieve those goals, I took on all of life’s challenges and turned then into motivation…fuel to keep pushing forward. Someone said something negative, it powered me up. I learned to turn negative energy into fuel to keep me pushing forward.
Somewhere along the line, my engine got clogged. I don’t know what happened. The fuel wasn’t working so well any more… But I found something else. My partner! She motivates me like I’ve never been motivated before. I’ve experienced some “very” challenging moments (some knocked me down real hard). But I got up and I’m still trucking forward. She helped me do that and she gives me motivation to be a better person…be all that I can be
@ Ricardo: How beautiful. Finding your soul mate is something very special and not many people can attest to that I think. I have found mine too and without John I wouldn’t be where I am. I might have taken another road and would be doing something totally different.
I might have been happy too, who knows. But, having a supportive and motivating partner certainly lights my fire too.
Thank you Ricardo for sharing. It is great to see you are turning negatives into positives.
What really lights my fire, is getting unplugged, and finding a quiet unspoiled place of the planet and just sitting there and letting my mind empty.
It might be the Rocky mountains. It might be the wild untamed shore of Lake Superior. Or it might be a local lake near where I live.
Sometimes, when I’m watching the scenery and contemplating Nature, I get these Zen-like moments where it all seems to make sense, and everything falls into place.
I’m not a religious man (far from it!) but I find these fleeting moments quite spiritual. It’s almost emotional.
It might only last for a few minutes, but those few minutes of calm are enough to recharge my batteries and keep me going for a long,long time afterwards.
Maybe that’s why I like to outdoors so much.
@ Friar: I always knew we were lost siblings! Like you I get a kick out of nature and just be.
This is why I am here in Australia. So much nature, so much spirit and I totally get you on the spiritual comment. Like you I’m so not religious, but very spiritual indeed. There is a huge difference as you and I know.
I love hiking. Done a lot as a kid and a bit as an adult. Hiked one of NZ’s famous tracks a couple of years ago (Brett will love this) and loved every grueling minute of it.
One of my dreams is to actually hike all the big treks in the world one day.
Monika,
What an inspirational post! That feeling of depression when your “candle stops burning” is SO hard to understand - or even admit.
What I have done over the many times in my life when I’ve lost my light, is to try to appreciate those things about my life that I’ve found in the darkness! I reflect on why the light has gone - did I set my expectations too high, was I unrealistic about my goals?
Sometimes the lessons we learn in the dark teach us so much about ouselves! And if we need professional help, that’s always an option.
I have found that emerging from the darkess is best done by lighting one small macth, rather than another candle - or worse yet, a torch. Give yourself time to understand - and mourn - the darkness, and then move on.
As Eleanore Roosevelt said: “It’s better to light one little candle than to stumble in the dark.”
Just that one bit of light avails of of finding our muse - which has usually been there all along. Some people, myslef included, call it “counting your blessings.”
Rita
@ Rita: Eleanor Roosevelt was such a smart women wasn’t she? I so love her quotes and you couldn’t have said it any better with the one you chose.
Admitting failure, depression or any dependency is never easy. But for some reasons I think it is part of the healing process too. Talking about things will make them more transcendent which helps to pin point where we can improve and change the situation.
I like your suggestion with the match very much. Great to have you here and contribute to the conversation.
I am not completely sure what my fire is. I don’t think I have ever really tried to figure it out, so if I had to pick something right now, I’d say my friends. I have been to that dark and cold place you described, it really sucked and was extremely hard to get out of, but because of my supporting friends I did get out of it (and a really good psychologist) about 2 years ago. If I didn’t have my friends, I don’t know if I’d be here right now.
@ Jenny: I bet that took some guts to admit too. Friends can be so powerful, especially if they are real friends. It’s good to see you came out from the dark and learned to embrace life again. Thank you for giving us a glimpse into your past. I’m happy for you and it’s great to see you around.
Great post Monika,
Ever since I resolved to follow my dream to be a freelance writer I have been amazed by the growing fire in my belly. At times I feel frightened and unsure of the next step and yet I don’t want to stop, it doesn’t even feel like an option.
This is a strange sensation for me, as in the past I have often taken the ’safe’ path and decided not to pursue something unless I was confident of the outcome.
Now I feel driven to go on - perhaps I have found my true fire? Thank you for your inspiration.
@ Bec: Oh, I do know what you mean. I hope to have inspired you, but then you are inspiring yourself by following your heart and letting go of your emotional shackles.
This alone is a strong motivator. We all feel frightened at times and real wonders happens when you overstep those limitations.
I guess my fire is my family…I feel like so dark and desperated when I am away or have conflict with persons I love. Actually, I prefer to be like you…Your fire is not someone because people are always tend to hurt each other. I’m now thinking to find any activities or business to focus on so my fire won’t count on anyone else.
@ Kelly: There is nothing wrong with loving and being loved. My fire is also the people I love, especially my husband and my pet birds. But, I also realize that we need to be happy within, without people or animals, because in the end, we come to this world alone and leave it alone and unless we learn to accept ourselves for what we are and are happy with that, we will always chase things.
Because of this, I’m happy with my work (since it takes up most of my day) and I’ve learned to accept myself for what I am (including faults).
You are not doing anything wrong. We all get hurt by the people we love and like you, I hate to be in conflict with those I treasure and love. Sometimes though, it just happens.
You need to learn to protect yourself but don’t give up on love ever!
Monika, thank you for your encouraging words…You’re right. I need to learn enjoying my life during the absence of the persons I love…You know, I couldn’t even hang out alone. I prefer to stay at home when no one accompany me to go somewhere. I must learn to be more independent but never give up on love. Once again, thank you..
@ Kelly: I’m glad I was able to help. You are very welcome. Maybe you can start by going out for a coffee alone while you read the latest trash mag, or if you are close to water, take yourselves to a picnic with a great novel.
There are many ways in which you can start accepting your own company and it starts with the smallest steps. Take care and let me know how you go please.
I feel guilty saying this but my fire is my writing - my stories, my imagination poured onto the page - and travel.
The reason I feel guilty is because maybe I should say my son. But he’s the earth I walk on, the foundation for everything. I need him, but I also need my own stuff to feel alive and moving forward.
It’s so silly I should feel this way, but that’s mother guilt for you!
Kelly
@ Kelly: I don’t think you should feel guilty about that Kelly. I could say the same about my husband whom I love dearly or my baby birds who mean the world to me too.
In the end, I don’t believe women should give themselves up to be mothers, or lovers for that matter. We do need our own space in which we can freely live and feel passion for what we do without feeling guilty.
That’s my take anyway.