How To Beat Lack Of Motivation
Ok, I admit it. I’ve had a shocking weekend and an ever worse start to my week. I don’t even know why. Actually, those were my first thoughts, but I do know why after taking some time out (read on to find out). Right now, I just experience this dark somber mood.
The reason I’m writing about this is to show you, that we all struggle with motivation, me included. While I’m generally happy, upbeat and full of passion, I also have my bad days. Normally this isn’t a big issue, however, trouble is when those bad days stack up like right now.
If you run your own business like me, then having a batch of bad days isn’t a good thing at all, since you will ultimately sabotage yourself.
Instead of using the spare time I have available to move my business to the next level, I’m moping around feeling sorry for myself.
So, the question is, what should you do when this happens to you?
To be honest, I don’t know. We are all different. What might work for me might not work for you at all.
In the interest of possibilities however, it might help you if I just write about what I do in those moments.
Acknowledge my true feelings
First off I am being honest with myself and acknowledge my feelings. I tried to dismiss them in the past, which only lead to long spells of depression.
If you experience roadblocks, then it might be a good time to take stock of your life and think about possible reasons why you might feel like that in the first place.
With a bit of digging and reflection, you will soon see what holds you back.
Analyze possible causes
Once I know why I’m feeling down, I normally try to find a solution for the future. While I can’t change the present, I can learn from it and improve on my short comings in the future.
I know for a fact, that one of the reasons I’m felling depressed right now is because some of my work has dried up. In the past 6 months I’ve had a really great run and I guess this is the first time ever since I’ve gone full time that I’m not fully booked.
Until now, I never even had to find work. It found me instead and I guess I got too comfortable. I was thinking that this lucky stream might hold on forever, all the while knowing deep down that it won’t. Even with a positive attitude.
Freelance writing is like a roller coaster and even though I didn’t have to experience this until now, I had to find out eventually.
The trouble is, how do you go about finding more work, when you are fully booked in the first place?
Two of my clients have recently pulled back (which is to be expected at some stages in our line of work) and now I’m sitting here, wondering, where the next job is coming from. I still have plenty of work, mind you. But, I’m not fully booked at present. (Hint hint 
) I feel comfortable in the knowledge that I’m fully booked. It’s like an aphrodisiac to my work. Seeing that available space makes me shudder and thinking the worst things to be honest. Maybe it is silly, but that is how I feel right now.
Naturally, I understand that I have to pull my finger out and go hunting if I want to fill my agenda right now, but to be honest I’m also toying with the idea on riding this low wave and invest the available time into my niches instead.
Deciding what to do
I guess the indecision about what is right for me in this scenario is REALLY my problem right now. From a logical viewpoint it only makes sense to build my niches heavily while I can. But my inner child is frightened to lose the momentum of my freelance writing business and with that the great income I’ve enjoyed over the last few months.
Taking time to mourn
If I’m totally honest with myself, then I have to say it makes more long term business sense to build my niches, since otherwise they will never eventuate to much, which means – no residual income.
So there, that is the answer! I just gave it to myself.
To get to this point I had to take time to weigh the options against each other. I know that I could pick up freelance writing work tomorrow if I really wanted to, so this will never be an issue.
But to build my niches does take time and I have to build them correctly. Plus, in those moments I’m the perfect target to get sidetracked with other ideas too. I spent the whole day yesterday wasting time by pursuing something totally new, instead of getting on with my existing work.
Talking about wasting time!
Side steps
In those moments I also tend to spend more time doing craft, reading or even watching TV. It is important for me to reflect and take the time to think about what I really want. Doing this will also help me to set priorities like in this case. Now that I have made up my mind I can move ahead and travel on the straight road again.
Times like these are also a good to take stock about my long term goals, since goals can change all the time.
Using inspiration to start again
Usually when I have my dark days (luckily they are far and few these days), I need some time. After some reflection and the usual feeling sorry for myself intermezzo I pull myself back together again and it is business as usual.
I realize there is worse
I realize that many people are a lot worse off than me right now. I really have nothing to worry about so why be depressed at all. In reality, it isn’t that easy. Depression strikes at the most unusual times and there is nothing we can do except deal with it.
That is exactly what I’m doing. Time to pull my finger out.
Thanks for listening to my unusual self centered story.
Monika
About the Author: I'm a passionate freelance writer and problogger. To further build my business I'm also in the process of building my own niche empire which pays me residual income.
Brett Legree | Aug 13, 2008 | Reply
Monika,
Hang in there – you know, reading your words here, I think you have a really good grasp on what to do in these kinds of moments. Keep moving forward. Every day, you get a little bit better at what you do, and I’d say you’re pretty darned good at it already. In fact, no one can do what you do as well as you do it. So there!
I’ve felt the same way lately, believe me – and then, a good long block of time for reflection – now I have it figured out again. I have my top three goals/dreams/visions sorted and I’m working away at them. I let something external get me down, distract me, and now, it is gone.
Keep on keepin’ on…
-Brett
Monika | Aug 13, 2008 | Reply
@ Brett: Thank you! You are a great friend and I appreciate your understanding and your nice words earlier on Skype. Knowing that I’m not alone in this is what keeps me going.
Another friend said after I spoke to you that he visits my online portfolio twice a day because he too dreams of having a site like that one day.
And here I was wondering why I bother sometimes. These are the moments that really make it worthwile for me to invest so much time and energy into this blog without any monetary pay.
Thanks
Brett Legree | Aug 13, 2008 | Reply
Monika,
You are welcome! You too are a great friend, and I’m so glad we had the chance to meet. Someday we’ll get to have that beer… in the mean time, I’ll set aside some time and we’ll actually have a real chat on Skype (soon!)
That’s an interesting note as well about your other friend – as I’m thinking in the background about a new blog with more of a business flavour, the theme/design I have in mind resembles your monikamundell.com because it looks so nice and professional.
So there you go – another reason for you to keep doing what you’re doing – you inspire others a lot!
-Brett
Monika | Aug 13, 2008 | Reply
@ Brett: I inspire until I start being a sook. LOL. But thanks for the heads up. Inspiring others is my intention, always has been, but sometimes it sucks the life out of me.
But hey, life goes on as Pink Floyd so aptly sing.
Wait until you see the design on this site. If I ever get moving with it.
Brett Legree | Aug 13, 2008 | Reply
@Monika,
I hear you… I tell you, all I had to do was re-read some of the stuff I’ve written, and it was a kick in the butt for me
That’s right, life goes on – oh, you’ve got me intrigued now – I’m sure that it will be incredible!
-Brett
lissie | Aug 13, 2008 | Reply
Oh stop that people who are my heroes in writing aren’t allowed to have funks you know LOL! And you know you should be investing this extra time in your long-term retirement plan of your niche sites don’t you! Hey I sold 2 articles on 2 different sites today how good was that – and one was the site I talked to you about so they are good to go!
Steph | Aug 13, 2008 | Reply
Monika: your post title totally attracted me because today is day three of not being motivated in any way to do anything. We returned on Saturday from a week of camping where I completely unplugged, and whether it’s lack of sleep, not eating properly, being daunted, I don’t know, I just can’t or don’t want to get back into things. Maybe it’s that I too am waiting for my next job and I’m not busy with a real deadline.
I totally related to how you feel as a freelancer. My business took off and I did pretty much nothing to attract all the business I got: it was word of mouth. However, it’s slowed down so drastically that I have only ONE regular client now. The stress that ensues from this situation is tiring and trying. We can’t live off my husband’s income alone with all our student loans and I’m tired of begging and chasing down clients.
This is how the idea for EditQuest was born: I decided that part of the problem was that I wasn’t really enjoying what I was doing — that is, editing academic texts only. Although I still wonder if editing is *really* what I want to do, for now, since I STILL can’t say what I’d rather do, I stick with what I’m good at but change the focus. I’m hoping that will make me a lot more motivated and happy.
But I know I will have to go after the work. I’m no James Chartrand, so this scares the crap out of me. I’m not a business person, but it has to be done to maintain the client flow.
As for motivation today, I think I actually just have to force myself. Part of it is that I dread this office. I hate sitting in it. It’s dark and I feel confined to it, not having a laptop. This week as I often do, I resent all the interruptions I get from family, friends, my husband, or the dog, or that I create for myself. I am sometimes sick of the computer. But stuff has to get done. I need to force myself. It’s like going to the gym. Once you force yourself to go, even just the first time, it gets easier from there, and it’s all fine when you’re actually doing it. It’s getting started that’s the challenge. But I can’t wait for me to FEEL like doing it, anymore.
I’m also one of those types who can’t multi-task very well. Last night I had to finish the book I was reading last night before I could even think of getting back to work. It was too distracting otherwise. Sometimes, I think, at least for me, it’s okay to let distractions take over, your side steps, as you call them, because I think your mind or body is telling you that’s what you need right now. We can’t always be go go go.
I’m hoping you’re able to pick everything back up again. I know how hard it can be, even after you’ve had inspiration and revelation. Sometimes I write these great, excited, ON posts, but the next day, all that’s gone. It’s very hard to maintain. I understand, and wish you all the strength you need.
Monika | Aug 14, 2008 | Reply
@ Lissie: LOL, I knew it would bite me in the a** to talk about my shortcomings. *Sighs
Now the hero days are truly gone. I am after all human .
Hey,m that is so good to hear. I’m chuffed for you and it’s good to hear it worked out for you with the company we talked about. On ya, you rock!
Yes, I know about those niches. I consider this a friendly kick in the right direction from you, so thanks heaps.
Monika | Aug 14, 2008 | Reply
@ Brett: It will be. I’ve had the theme ready for weeks but wanted to play around with it. To heck with that now. Over those weekend I will go offline temporarily with this blog while I polish the new look. Just in time for my one year anniversary of this blog.
Monika | Aug 14, 2008 | Reply
@ Steph: Wow, I’m blown away by your response. I really appreciate you opening up like that. I’m sure that wasn’t easy either. I actually thought twice before I published but then said why not. That is me, it’s part of me and while I might be an inspiration for many, I’m not always feeling so rosy myself.
People have to understand that what we do doesn’t come easy. It’s no sugar coated business. It does take a lot of work and you clearly show a lot of resolution and passion too.
I can understand you feel unmotivated after a holiday. It isn’t easy to get back into the swing of things and you are spot on with your comment about our body telling us we have to stop.
I haven’t had a holiday in 18 months and it is slowly showing I guess.
Maybe what you are doing now isn’t the right thing for you if you dread your office or the computer that much. Or else, you might need to re-arrange your work space. It sucks not having a laptop and having the financial pressure like you do obviously doesn’t help.
I think it is good though that you do take a step back to reflect. It always helps. I already feel better myself for having written this post as things are clear for me. I guess I needed my head re-arranged.
Your reference to James is interesting though. I think you might find that he too has to chase business and clients at times. Such is the nature of our industry. But, James has been in business longer than we have and is therefore more established too. He works really hard and thrives on chaos (so I have been told
).
Don’t compare yourself to other people as otherwise it will only further your frustration.
I’m also intrigued by your comment in regards to forcing yourself to do the work. I’m not sure whether that is right. I tend to think that force is perhaps not the right thing to do. If you find yourself consistently forced to do your work, it might be because of the way you feel about the work itself.
If it is only temporarily, then obviously it is because of lack of motivation (like me right now). But, if you feel like that all the time you might need to look at alternative ways to earn income.
I wish I could help you. I guess you know best and all I can say is don’t be too hard on yourself. Take the time to evaluate and then go about making changes if need be step by step.
If I can do anything, please send me an email.
Brett Legree | Aug 14, 2008 | Reply
@Monika,
One year! Happy Birthday to your blog. (clap clap clap)
It is going to look awesome. May the next year bring you even more.
-Brett
Cath Lawson | Aug 14, 2008 | Reply
Hi Monika – sorry you’re feeling down. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with sharing that on your blog. It’s something we can all relate to and it’s great that you’ve shared how you’ve worked your way through it.
And it sounds like you’ve found yourself a positive solution. Some of your time has been freed up to concentrate on your niches – or put a whole heap of effort into one at a time. This could be a great thing for you.
It sounds like some of your writing work has dried up because, you don’t have time to market when you’re fully booked and couldn’t cope with the work anyway. Another solution might be to market more and subcontract the work to another writer. Or go into partnership with someone, as Christine O’Kelly did.
But that depends on how much you enjoy marketing and sales. It sounds like Steph isn’t loving that side of the job. Steph – you mentioned that it’s the getting started that’s the problem. When I’m feeling like that – I try to write down how overwhelmed and fearful I feel about beginning a task. Then I write down how it actually felt once I’ve done it. Once you do that once or twice, it’s easier to do the same things.
But maybe it’s the way you’re marketing your services that you find overwhelming. Years ago, I wasted a lot of time doing cold calls, which I hated. I’d dread doing them and put it off, wasting even more time. Then halfway through, I’d want to stop, because I’d been rejected for the twentieth time. It sucked. And it wasn’t a profitable way of getting business.
In the end – I chose to do only marketing activities that I enjoyed and that would actually work. It’s far easier and more profitable.
It sounds like working at home isn’t easy for you either. Could you have a chat with folk who’re interrupting you and explain that you can’t work that way? Also, is there anything you can do to make your office more pleasant to work in? I used to have a really unpleasant office and working at home is even worse because I get little natural daylight in this house. But it’s surprising how much something like a nice motivational picture can cheer you up.
Monika – it sounds like you don’t often have the time to focus on all the things you want to be doing. I know it would be nice to be able to do everything, but it’s rarely possible. It sounds like you’re in a catch 22. I’m guessing you’d probably like to get your niches to a point where they’re practically running without you. But you can’t do that whilst you’re trying to make a living from writing and marketing yourself at the same time.
Friar | Aug 14, 2008 | Reply
@Monika
No holiday in 18 months? Well…GEE! NO WONDER!!!
Oh, for goodness sakes, darling! Take some time off!!! You’re burning out.
And I’m not talking about a three day weekend, either. If you’re like me, it will take at least 3-4 days to unplug from work, and truly start relaxing. Give yourself at least two weeks.
It has to be the “Right” kind of vacation, though. You’ll know what it is, when you figure it out.
I was in the same boat this summer. I’ve been depressed, blah, thinking about different trips I can do. The Maritimes. Colorado. Labrador. Lake Superior… All I thought of was “Meh”…and nothing could cheer me up.
Now I finally decided where I want to go (it’s like a light bulb went off in my head). Now suddenly I’m enthusiastic and passionate about things again, just thinking about the trip that’s coming.
And damn the expense. (Don’t bankrupt yourself, but dont’ be afraid to spend a bit more, either). What’s the point of working and earning money, if we dont’ occasionally have some fun with it?
Ask Brett..he spent a lot of $$$$ to visit NZ with his wife. But I’ll bet you he’ll tell it was the best thing he’s done in years!
Doctor Friar’s orders. Take some time off.
You’ll come back more refreshed, and you’ll be more productive in the long run than just soliering on right now, working non-stop.
Rita | Aug 14, 2008 | Reply
Monika,
Ah, again the ironies of life…and another reason that I know we truly ARE friends, as per our “other” conversation on my site about sex.
On Monday of this week, I wrote a blog that was pretty much a mirror of what you wrote. (And NO, I know that both of our ideas – and feelings – came to us separately, and we both expressed them in our own ways, so this is NOT an accusation of “plagier-blogging!) And since you don’t post blog names, I can tell you that I simply called mine “I’m not Happy.”
I, too, find myself the hardest “thing” to talk about. And it is very uncomfortable. But sometimes you’ve got to let the world know that you’re feeling “blue.” We can’t all be funny and/or inspirational every day of our lives. Sometimes we just have to acknowledge that life aint always grand.
No pep talks from me. Feeling down is normal, as long as you don’t cross the line unknowingly into depression.
What we need to do, I think, is set up a time with the third member of our “triad” and have an IM conversation, or something, and talk about something fun – like sex. If you want to help set up the timing, mabe we CAN make it happen! We can have a “virtual” glass of wine, and gab for hours!
I’m game if you are!
Rita
Kelly | Aug 14, 2008 | Reply
Nice to read this post. But Monika, I think Friar is right…You need to take time off. I know the durability of each person to handle pressure is not same. But I believe that 18 months with no holiday is very hard. Maybe you feel that now holiday isn’t too necessary for refrehing, but at least it is also good for your family. You’ll have more time to communicate with your husband and children without thinking about your job. I’m sure you’ll fell much more fres and strong after coming back from the holiday.
Davina | Aug 14, 2008 | Reply
Hi Monika.
Smiles to you. You are an incredibly genuine person. Self centred?!!! I think not. I got the distinct feeling that maybe you don’t pay enough attention to YOU! Am I right?
The phrase that jumped out at me was “…and with the great income I’ve enjoyed over the last few months…” First, congratulations on that great income.
But I wonder, have you “enjoyed” it or just accumulated it. If the latter is the case, it seems that you’ve now earned the time to enjoy it. To echo all your fans who’ve come before me, it sounds like a holiday is in order.
What one thing is missing from your life that makes you happy (putting all work aside)? What have you been denying yourself? Go get it girl! It’s yours for the taking AND you deserve it!
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome | Aug 14, 2008 | Reply
Monika:
I so understand this post. Because I’m still settling into a new way of life in a country that speaks a different language, I have some super bad days. I’m also sensitive to what I eat and to the moods of the people around me, so have bad days related to those two things as well.
I usually give myself a time to wallow (because I’m a drama queen at heart and enjoy a good wallow), but then I give myself a kick in the butt and go DO something. Quite often it’s a walk – a long walk at a super-quick pace that gets the endorphins going (and it usually involves music pumping in through the headphones).
zania | Aug 14, 2008 | Reply
Hi Monika,
Wow, you have some very good friends here who are putting their all into their answers to you.
It took me forever to read down to the bottom to make this comment
You came over to my blog a few days ago and your answers to my rather self-pitying post were so profound they really did help, so even when you are not helping others with their freelance writng work, or writing your usual upbeat posts on this blog, you are helping simply by being you.
So thank you
One thing which does strike me here, however, is the feeling of reluctance which, to me, appears to be emanating from you about working on those niche sites.
I know you say that part of it is about being afraid to pull back from freelance writing (and I can well understand that – the “If I don’t keep going at this will I ever want to come back?” syndrome), but I wonder if that is all it is…?
It seems to me that taking this point in time to concentrate on those niche sites isn’t exactly filling your heart with joy right now…
Of course, the fact that you haven’t had a real break in 18 months counts for an awful lot. You are bound to be experiencing ‘burn out’.
So why not say ‘forget the work’ and take some complete time out?
I think things will be a little clearer then.
Either way, you take care.
Monika | Aug 14, 2008 | Reply
@ Brett: Thank you. I sure hope so.
Monika | Aug 14, 2008 | Reply
@ Cath: It’s amazing how perceptive you are Cath. You hit the nail on the head with your last paragraph. I certainly don’t take the time to reflect enough. I think if I really wanted to I could take the time.
It’s always about priorities isn’t it. I think you made a very valuable point when you said to look at the spare time I have now as a blessing. That, I will do. Maybe it is even a blessing in disguise anyway. Who knows, but the future will tell.
Your idea about partnership sounds very good. In fact I have been toying about that last week. Two people have come to mind so far but I have done nothing to further that notion.
Thank you for your nice words, they do mean a lot. In fact everybody’s words here do. I also appreciate your great response to Steph. She hasn’t been back and i hope she is alright. I might send her an email.
Monika | Aug 14, 2008 | Reply
@ Friar: You are sooo right. I’m dying for a holiday. Me being a travel nut, this is the longest I have ever lasted without a holiday. Like you, I need these things to look forward to.
As much as I would want to drop everything and go right now, it is impossible. But, having said that I will go on a holiday in January next year….
…in fact, John and I are finally off to a cruise to the Pacific. It’s been a long dream come true. The biggest cruise ship in Oz I was told.
Plus, I already know one thing. Work will be a thing of absolute minimum there because of the astronomical Internet costs on cruise ships.
Until then I shall bridge the time with smaller trips and picnics on the beach, etc.
Thank you Dr. Friar. I needed your medicine today.
Monika | Aug 14, 2008 | Reply
@ Rita: Hell yes I’m game. Any excuse to chat with some cool people. I didn’t even know about your own story you wrote. I have to go and read it now.
Thank you for the lovely words too. You are right. What is the point in pretending everything is honky dory if in fact it is now. If we can’t be honest on our own blogs, then were can we. Plus if my experience helps another person over theirs, it is all worth it.
Alright, let’s do this.
Monika | Aug 14, 2008 | Reply
@ Kelly: You are quite correct. We all have our limits and I think I’ve reached mine. 18 months is very hard and I realize that I need to do more things for myself, rather than giving myself endlessly to other people’s needs. It’s all good to try and help, but if I suffer, I can’t help anybody.
Monika | Aug 14, 2008 | Reply
@ Davina: Wow, you totally caught me out. You are so right, I never do pay attention to myself. I guess I am a nurturing person and always care about others while forgetting myself in the process. Even John my husband keeps telling me this.
You are also spot on with the suspicion that I have indeed accumulated the income rather than “enjoyed” it. I have become a hermit to be honest. I feel most comfortable at home (unless I travel) and often can’t be bothered to even go down the road to buy milk.
I do accumulate my income for a reason though. John and I have dreams which do involve money but what you said makes sense. Plus, if I die tomorrow I would have missed so many opportunities for living.
Thanks for the inspiration. While I won’t be able to holiday right now (see comment to Friar), I am going to spend more time living and less time hiding behind the computer.
Monika | Aug 14, 2008 | Reply
@ Alex: It sounds we have some things in common. Drama queen is my middle name. At least it was when i was younger. I do have mellowed a bit with age. But, I am a cancer and they are known for their “queenie episodes”. LOL.
Where do you live Alex? I’m familiar with your sentiments too, since I was a stranger in a new country on several occasions throughout my life.
It isn’t easy to settle into a new country, while trying to make friends while feeling lonely at times. I’m off to see your blog now. I have heard only good things about you but don’t really know much yet.
Monika | Aug 14, 2008 | Reply
@ Zania: Thank you! From my heart.
It is people like all of you who keep me going on those dark days. And I’m glad to have helped you too. It’s all about sharing and being human isn’t it?
It’s not that I hate the niches. But I’ve come to realize that I’m being totally overwhelmed by the amount of sites I have yet to build up. I have the domains and the articles but there is a lot of work involved in setting the sites up and I kept thinking bigger picture when in fact I had to concentrate on doing it step by step.
I suppose I have to head my own advice here. So today I finally made a list if the action steps (which I actually dreaded doing) and now I will work on them until.
John my husband actually opened my eyes when he said how he was overwhelmed about the bathroom renovation only last week and now he just does bit by bit. When I looked around the now empty and shelled bathroom I realized what he meant and it helped me to see the whole picture.
I certainly need a break too.
Since this isn’t possible right now I’m going to do small things to keep myself balanced instead.
Thank you once again for taking the time to read all the comments. Wow, you must have spent an hour to read all that.
Monika | Aug 14, 2008 | Reply
@ All: I wanted to thank all of you once again for taking the time to help me over this temporary black mood. I really feel much better now and am humbled by the response from all of you.
While my words won’t be able to match what I feel, just know that you are all in my heart.
Medic | Aug 15, 2008 | Reply
Monika,
As zania said take a break. Plan a vacation. Even if it is a small one or two day one. In your past posts, I believe you mentioned that sometimes you just gotta take a walk. Well, take a one to two day walk away from IM. It’ll do you wonders.
BTW, I’m taking my own advice. I go on vacation tomorrow. Just going to see my parents, but it’s a break. I do think the bit by bit approach you mentioned will help you as well.
Cheers,
Medic
Leanne Magraith | Aug 15, 2008 | Reply
Hi Monika
I feel for you now as I too have had similar moments. Yes a holiday is a good idea however I can understand where you coming from. I have been in a similar situation where for various reasons (money and work situations etc) I couldn’t take the holiday I desperately needed.
I guess if one word sums up the overall feeling for me overwhelmed comes to mind and I am guessing this feeling is foremost for you right now. What seemed to help me in those moments was doing little things to try and find some balance in my life. Often when we feel overwhelmed we try to move “the big rocks” first. This just adds to the feeling of exhaustion etc. I found the little things do count and some of them need very little time. Move a couple of the small rocks only….. the big ones can wait. Then most importantly pamper yourself – you need very little time to do things like ..soak in warm bath with relaxing music, watch a very funny movie (even if it is one you have seen heaps of times), massage, beach walk – paddle in water with bare feet etc. When you are feeling more balanced the big rocks will still be there no damage is done and you will be strong enough to carry them.
Warm regards
And big hug ( )
Leanne
Amy | Aug 15, 2008 | Reply
Monika — I appreciate your honest post. Like you, I’m a successful freelance writer, but I do have my moments. I also deal with episodes of depression, especially in winter, which are caused by nothing circumstantial and I just have to deal with. In other words, no amount of analysis on my part helps; I just have to hang in there and know they will pass. But it does become difficult to work during those times, putting on a happy face for my clients and just plug along.
I went through a similar period in December or so when I felt a panic because I didn’t have a full workload. As it turned out, in my case I was being anxious for nothing, because within a month I was back to being overbooked. I should have just let myself enjoy that week or so of only working 2/3 of the amount of hours I was used to. But I don’t operate that way I guess.
Anyhow, thanks for sharing. I can definitely relate.
Monika | Aug 15, 2008 | Reply
@ Medic: I will follow your advice (and mine), otherwise I’ll be a hypocrite wouldn’t I. I’m going to start walking on the beach again. For some reasons (or shall I say excuses) I have stopped doing that when winter came. And I will also follow everybody else’s advice for that matter. Taking little steps in the right direction. Thank you.
I hope you enjoy your trip Medic. That weekend trip sounds like a plan too. I can certainly implement that with a bit of planning over the next few weeks. Thanks for the suggestions.
Monika | Aug 15, 2008 | Reply
@ Leanne: Oh, you wouldn’t know how much you are right with the overwhelmed bit. Trying to chew those large rocks instead of going at it in small steps, yep, that is me all over.
John said to me last night (you are sabotaging yourself). I guess he is right. Hard to admit though. But here I am doing it.
Gee, you don’t know how much I fancy that hot bubble bath right now. Last night was something like 5 degree Celcius, not pretty for Queensland weather I can tell you. But, I have no bath, even less a bathroom. LOL. I guess I have to keep dreaming about that one for a few weeks until the renovation is completed.
I can book the massage though and go for that beach walk for sure. That is what I’ll do starting tomorrow (sounds cliched doesn’t it). I promise though. I am.
Thanks Leanne, hugs to you too
Monika | Aug 15, 2008 | Reply
@ Amy: It’s winter here right now. Like you, I get depressed in winter. I suppose it is to do with the cold, the dark, the lack of life in nature. It’s easy to lose track of our soul in those times and fall prey to the darker sides, especially when we stop to nurture ourselves (like I did).
You are right though. I shouldn’t stress about the lack of work and instead enjoy the time I have available. I got used to being fully booked and panicked too.
I appreciate you shared your own feelings too Amy. If I have learned one thing from all of this, it is seeing that we all seem to struggle with similar notions and it’s good to see we are not alone.
It can be rather lonely at times, doing our line of work. Having a great network of friends and support like all of you means so much to me and I’m sure to all of you guys as well.
Further to this I also learned to never under estimate my own need for space and time to indulge. neglecting myself is what ultimately lead me to this dark corner and I didn’t like that one bit.
While it is easier said than done, I shall allow myself more “me” time from now on. Thank you Amy, for being here and helping me too.
Steph | Aug 17, 2008 | Reply
Cath: thank you very much for your suggestions! You are exactly right. It’s not editing that I dislike, it’s trying to become successful at it, the business side, you know?
While for now I’ve got over the lack of motivation I was feeling that day, I will keep your suggestions to apply whenever I have to do any business stuff. James says I’ll have to do more of it than the average person, for several reasons, so your ideas will really come in handy!
Thank you.
Steph | Aug 17, 2008 | Reply
Monika: WOW. Thanks for such a great response! I will send you an email in reply very soon. I’m not here today, so maybe Sunday or Monday…
Thanks again!
Steph
Steve Errey | Aug 18, 2008 | Reply
Sounds like you’ve got things pretty much sorted Monika.
Too often people filter what they’re feeling in preference of what they think they should be feeling or doing. That only winds up making things worse, as you’ve suggested here.
The truly confident thing to do it to acknowledge what you’re feeling – that’s how you know where you are in life, what’s working and what isn’t working. Your feelings are like an in-built feedback system for the world. Ignore them and you’re ignoring a huge piece of who you are.
Good for you for allowing yourself to feel down. I’m just coming out of a ‘dark period’ too, and I know I need to let that happen, let myself off the hook and take care of myself.
I know I’ll be back on buzzing form soon, and I suspect you know that you will too.
ebele | Aug 19, 2008 | Reply
Hun, I am sending you big big mango hugs…
and more…
Glad you made it through.
xxx.
Monika | Aug 20, 2008 | Reply
Steve: Welcome to my blog. It’s great to see you here. Sorry my reply is late. I took a few (much needed days off).
I think you are right. Kidding ourselves doesn’t help. It only furthers the issue. I really appreciate your insights too. You are certainly more qualified to talk about confidence than me.
Writing about it has also helped me to find the perspective of the whole scenario. And you are right, I’m already feeling the buzz starting to vibrate again.
Thank you for stopping by.
Monika | Aug 20, 2008 | Reply
@ ebele: hey girlfriend, where have you been hiding all these weeks? I hope you are so busy you haven’t got time to scratch your bum.
I missed you. As a matter of fact I thought about you yesterday, our thoughts must have crossed oceans.
Big hugs to you.
Sal | Aug 22, 2008 | Reply
Monika,
I haven’t hit this wall yet, but I know I am bound to at some point in time. Thank you for giving me the courage to know that it is coming and the knowledge to know what to do when it happens.
Just take a little break, as my good friend says “breathe in, breathe out, move on.” Just keep reading and commenting on other blogs and you will find that inspiration in no time.
ebele | Aug 23, 2008 | Reply
Hi hun…
There’s always time to scratch my arse. Always.
On a serious note, times have been hard. Very.
How are your cuckatoos?
Billboard-sized hugs backatcha’…have a luverly weekend.
Monika | Aug 23, 2008 | Reply
@ Ebele: Oh dear. I’m sorry to hear that. I really am. If I can do anything to help you please send me an email. My cuckatoos are great thanks for asking, cheeky as ever and so clever.
Thanks for the luverly backatmees, they are always welcome. You too my sista, look after yourself.
Monika | Aug 23, 2008 | Reply
@ Sal: Thank you. I just spent all day doing ….nothing. Felt good too. I’ve practiced mini breaks all week and I’m getting used to them already. Now I have to watch those productivity levels.
If you do hit a wall don’t be afraid to let others know too, it really helps in the getting better process. Kind of fast tracks it.