Face Your Fears And Do It Anyway!
A few years back I read a book called ‘Face the Fear And Do It Anyway’ by Susan Jeffers. The book was teaching various techniques to turn fear into power. Fact is that pretty much all of us fear some things in life. Whether that be a fear of spiders, a fear of the dark, fear of being alone, fear of failure, or fear of success is irrelevant. What matters to us is that this heart-stopping fear prevents us from facing the world with confidence when we are gripped in the fangs of fear. Unless you learn how to deal with your fear, you can never face the fear and do it anyway.
The first step in dealing with your fear:
But before you can even think about dealing with fear you have to acknowledge it. Be honest with yourself. What EXACTLY are you afraid of? Perhaps it’s not the fear of failure, but the fear of success.
When I think back about my first failed business venture I now know (well, I have known this for some time actually,) that I did fail because of two reasons:
- The first reason is that I was simply not cut out to be a network marketer. It isn’t in my blood and I’m not passionate about it.
- The second reason was my fear of success.
Only when I learned to acknowledge my own feelings was I able to be pro-active about them. It took me some years before I understood that it was down to me and my own determination to make any business work. If I wanted to give myself the best chances of success I HAD to be passionate about what I was doing – only then was I able to face the fears that were left of starting a new business.
This is what you need to do if you find yourself in the cold, clammy hand of fear. If that said fear is preventing you from moving forward with your life, then you have to do something about it. Read on to learn what you can do…
Fear busters, proven ways to get rid of fear and do it anyway!
- Find your passion: Is what you intend to do REALLY what you want to do? Could there be the slightest chance that you are chasing the wrong dreams right now? If so, it is exactly why fear is still holding you back!
- Once you are 100% committed to the change you want to see in your life it’s time to take a small step forward in the right direction.
- Do a couple of things each day that will bring you closer to your dream. If you want to travel the world but are afraid of dealing with the public by asking for directions or similar, start with your locality. Pretend you are a tourist trying to find location X. You’ll soon learn people are a lot nicer than you think, and your fear will dissipate by itself just by being pro-active. Let’s call these steps daily commitment steps.
- Repeat your daily commitment steps for a minimum of 21-days as it takes about that long to form a new habit.
- Enjoy the ride for all it’s worth!
There will only be two possible outcomes from this little exercise:
- You succeed beyond your wildest dreams and have since realized that your fear was unfounded (which is most often the case,) and you are actually much closer to your dream, or even living it right now.
- The other option is to find out that the exercise was in fact a failure. But even if you shall have to experience this, it’s great because you’ve stepped out of your comfort zone and become stronger in the process. Most likely your fear has also dissipated and you now know that anything is possible for you.
Either way, you’ve gone out and done it! Well done.
Monika
So tell me, have you ever faced your fears and did it anyway? I’d love to hear what helped you to overcome the dark times and whether it was all worth it in the end.
About the Author: I'm a passionate freelance writer and problogger. To further build my business I'm also in the process of building my own niche empire which pays me residual income.
Kathy | Virtual Impax | Aug 6, 2009 | Reply
My first business venture was a cleaning business. I started it because I coudln’t find anyone who would show up AND clean properly.
However, I HATE cleaning. I mean – I know how to do it – and do it well – but I absolutely HATE doing it.
Some people LOVE cleaning. They love the process – they love looking at the difference they’ve made. I’ve heard of these people – but could never find one to hire!
I was really hoping to start my business and then hire others to actually do the cleaning – and what I discovered about myself is I HATED going around and “fighting” with my employees about what needed to be done… which is EXACTLY what I dealt with when I hired these people to clean my house – it’s just now I was fighting with them DAILY… PLUS marketing the business!!!
So, I ended up doing the cleaning… because that was the lesser of two evils.
I closed my business when I dreamed I got a job as a fry cook at McDonalds – came home REAKING of grease and announced, “At least it’s better than cleaning houses!”
Oh, and when I closed my cleaning business – I actually had one client break down in tears. She too had the same problem I did – which was getting someone to clean “properly”.
I learned a LOT from that “failure”… I loved the marketing part – I loved the “branding” part … I even loved creating the check lists for my employees which I had hoped would encourage them to do what they needed to do
(it didn’t). I just didn’t love harping on lazy people who wanted a paycheck for doing nothing OR the cleaning part.
However, I wouldn’t change a THING today – because I learned more from that 14 month venture than I did in 4 years of college!!!
It also helped me to “overcome” my fear of starting a business. Every one since then has been a “it can’t be worse than the cleaning biz!”
Monika | Aug 6, 2009 | Reply
@ Kathy: Oh, what a powerful story Kathy. I LOVE how you had that dream about being a McDonald’s fry cook. It’s amazing how our subconscious knows a lot more than we often do, isn’t it?
I know how you felt about the lack of dedication from your cleaners back then. I guess I’m facing similar issues right now with some aspects of my own business. A good friend actually told me I was being very strict and picky but my reply was: ‘why pay someone to do work for me if it isn’t up to my standards?’
Some of us choose to walk through life blind-folded, not really caring about anything, while people like you and me have compassion and certain standards. Therefore we will always struggle more against the tide of brackish water. But eventually we will end up in clean, fast-flowing water while the others get stuck for life in their little dirty whirlpools!
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It just goes to show that taking action is key to getting rid of fear, or at least take the sting out of it. It worked for you, it worked for me too and it will work for anybody keen enough to try.
When I wrote this post I was actually thinking of you… no kidding, and to see you came round and stopped by is wonderful, if not a little freaky.
Cath Lawson | Aug 6, 2009 | Reply
Hi Monika – LMAO at Kathy’s dream about working in MacDonald’s – definitely a good reason for packing in her cleaning business.
I’ve read that book too – and I do need to keep referring back to it. It’s not that I have lots of fears – nowhere near as many as I had a few years ago. But those I do have can really get me down – and I can put them off for months.
And it’s rarely the doing part that I fear – it’s the outcome. But it’s the tasks where I don’t have complete control of the outcome that I struggle with most.
Brett Legree | Aug 7, 2009 | Reply
Monika,
I swear that I could hear you saying “Brett! I’m talking to you!” as I read this.
I am on vacation this week, and just about ready to get my arse in gear on that thing we talked about not long ago.
My problem? I’ve wanted it to be perfect. Problem with that? Impossible.
So unless I start – it will never happen. Thanks again for the reminder today.
(PS – I always go back to read your story of how you got to where you are. It makes me think “I can do this too”.)
Monika | Aug 7, 2009 | Reply
@ Cath: I understand. I think we all fear the outcome of the unknown. But that’s exactly it. If we never try, how can we possibly know what will happen. My motto is to rather live with the fear of failure than with the fear of regret. You are a strong woman from what I have come to learn and you have already faced your fears in many ways from what I gather. Keep rocking!
As for Kathy’s dream, yeah, it’s hilarious.
Monika | Aug 7, 2009 | Reply
@ Brett: Sure you can! You know, you can consider yourself very lucky that I don’t live in your neck of the woods because if I was I had to seriously think of kicking your ass for real every now and then!
I’m with you on the perfect thing too. That’s me down to a T and it often stops me from doing stuff I set out to do as well. Bad habit! But, when the time is right, I always act and follow my dreams, ideals. I know you will too.
Brett Legree | Aug 11, 2009 | Reply
Ack! I’d better move to your neck of the woods then so you can kick me in the ass for real
I had a job interview today, but now I’m back at home. Time to get down to the real thing.
Perfect or not!