How To Create The Write Mood

By Mark Pepper

This is a moot point if you are a jobbing writer who has deadlines to meet. No client will be interested if you tell them you haven’t started their project yet because you are still waiting for the Muse to join you in front of your computer. Freelance work dictates that you just get on with it. Unless you are ghost-writing someone’s turbulent and passionate life story, few clients will be looking for beautiful prose.

But what about that dirty little secret we all have? You know the one. It’s kept in the “Miscellaneous” folder, inside the “New” folder you have inside your “Other Stuff” folder. What about your personal projects, your … sshh, creative writing? How do we make sure we have what it takes on tap to make our creative writing creative?

We regret to announce the cancellation of your Muse

Muse n. Greek myth. Any one of nine sister goddesses, each of whom was regarded as the protectress of a different art or science.

The above definition is from the Collins English Dictionary. You may also like to know their names and what they do, so here they are:

• Calliope – muse of epic poetry
• Clio – muse of history
• Erato – muse of love poetry
• Euterpe – muse of music
• Melpomene – muse of tragedy
• Polyhymnia – muse of sacred poetry
• Terpsichore – muse of dance
• Thalia – muse of comedy
• Urania – muse of astronomy

A few things bother me here. Firstly, what if you get the wrong Muse? You sit down to write your thriller and Astronomy Muse shows up. Look, Urania, I don’t mean to be rude, but piss off. I had Terpsichore here yesterday pirouetting around the bloody room, knocking things over; I don’t need you dragging me to the window, not even to show me Uranus. Secondly, this is creative writing, so which Muse is actually fit for purpose? I suppose you could call on Melpomene or Thalia if you’re writing in those genres, but the rest are fairly useless. Thirdly, they’re a Greek myth, so they’re not real.

Of course, when we speak of the Muse, we just mean inspiration, but a lack of inspiration is usually down to a simple lack of planning.

Fail to plan, plan to fail (aka: PPPPPP)

You would be some sort of literary genius if you were able to sit down and write a publishable piece of work without any planning whatsoever. It may smash a few idealistic notions out there, but creative writing takes planning. Creativity does not exclude the necessity to organise. You can’t approach creative writing in a purely right-brained way. That may be where your great ideas and beautiful passions originate, but they need to be ordered. The sensible left side of your brain has to be involved.

We all know how our ideas can appear as if from nowhere. They spark and fizz and occasionally explode into our minds. It’s a fantastic feeling when it happens, but if you were to just sit down and start writing as they materialised, you’d end up with a proper muddle, like the personal journal of a mass murderer uncovered after their killing spree: moments of perfect lucidity and awesome insight gasping for air in a dense fug of rambling, maniacal prose.

If your ideas are good, give them a chance to thrive. The best thing you can do for your creative writing is not to write – not straight away. Organise what you want to say into bullet points, or jot your thoughts down on little cards and spend time ordering them so they make sense. Don’t be so impressed by your ideas that you believe they can stand on their own merits. If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, consider the issue of plotting.

Oh, PPPPPP? Proper Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Performance.

Plotting

By definition, the plot of a story takes time to formulate. If someone seems a little furtive and keeps themselves to themselves for a while, we might ask: “what are you plotting?” Guy Fawkes was not involved in the “Gunpowder Whim”. It was a plot; he planned it. Albeit not very well, hence the whole burning at the stake thing, but you get my point. Plotting, planning – they’re the same thing, and they take time.

Creative writing that contains any element of story-telling has to be plotted. This is the left-brain taking right-brain material and applying some intellect to it. You can’t skip this just because you’re oh-so-arty, luv. If you examine the biggest films ever made and the greatest blockbuster novels ever written, you will find that most of them adhere to an established story-telling formula. Almost to the page, in a 90-minute Hollywood movie where one script page equates to one minute of screen time, you will find major plot shifts that occur at page 30, and again at page 60. In between and around these, there are secondary and tertiary plot shifts and character realisations, all of which adhere to the set formula. If you’re unsure about this, consider that moment when the protagonist briefly behaves – or almost behaves – like the antagonist/nemesis, before pulling back and continuing on the path of righteousness. It’s a key moment and it’s nearly always there.

Novels work the same way, and require the same plotting to the same formula. Of course, you can try and buck the system and hope your writing is so strong, or High Concept so lofty, that those rules are negated, but you really won’t be doing yourself any favours if you’re looking at a commercial market as your ultimate goal.

And, yes, I know not everyone engaged in creative writing is involved in writing a novel, but that does not alter the need to plan whatever you write. If you want to let it all out first in some Virginia Woolf-like stream of consciousness, that’s okay, but you can’t leave it that way if you expect anyone else to honestly enjoy it. By all means splurge first from the right-brain, but then let the left-brain have a tinker. It knows what it’s doing.

Writer’s Block

Finally, a word on writer’s block. This is such a tired old cliché. There are plenty of blocks to writing – they’re all the other things that go on in life that keep you from sitting down at your computer – but please don’t bore me with the writer’s block excuse once you GET the time to write.

Imagine hearing this over the tannoy at 33,000 feet: “Sorry, ladies and gentleman, I’ve just developed some really awful pilot’s block. I just can’t seem to fly today. It’s all gone out of my head. Co-pilot feels exactly the same. We’re going to light a joss stick – see if that helps. You’ll soon know if it doesn’t.”

Most of the time, writer’s block is the result of poor planning, and planning can include simply taking time out to sit and quietly mull over ideas, jotting down whatever comes to mind.

Remember: There is no surer way to be stumped for words than to sit in front a blank screen without some prior prep work.

Before I go, here’s a literary riddle for you: Make up a logical sentence in which there are five ”ands” that follow one after the other, as in: and and and and and. No, please don’t use dialogue from a stuttering individual – this is a sentence in perfect English. Leave answers in your comments. Monika will send the winners a prize. Yeah right.