And The Award Goes To …
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This isn’t really about freelance writing. Okay, it’s nothing to do with it. I have spoken before about the effect poor education has on writing skills, but this isn’t even that tenuous.
It’s just a funny/sad tale I heard a couple of days ago.
The 12-year-old son of a friend of ours in the UK – okay my wife’s friend, seeing as I have no friends – recently went to the local town hall to receive an award. The schools like to do this because, unless children get awards these days, they become disillusioned with life and set fire to their teacher’s car or post doggy-doo through their letter box.
I attended one of these award ceremonies a few years ago. First of all, the students receiving awards for subject achievements go up on stage – Best in Maths, etc. These usually mean that they have achieved the level of a certifiable moron from the 1970s.
Once these are over, they move to the lesser categories, and it is in one of these categories that the aforementioned boy has excelled.
He received an Attendance Award. He got a prize for going to school. They recognized the great sacrifice he’d made of getting his arse out of bed in the morning rather than telling his parents to eff off and let him sleep.
When I was his age, attending school was an accepted part of growing up. Not attending school got you a clip round the back of the head. I’m sure some teachers would have preferred I didn’t turn up, but turn up I did. Unless I had a thermometer-verified, fit-inducing temperature or I’d re-introduced onto the kitchen table a good portion of my stomach contents that morning, off I went.
I wasn’t at the town hall a couple of days ago, but I suspect the other awards included:
- The Only Having To Be Told Five Times To Shut Up Award
- The Only Slightly Beating Up The Speccy Kid Award
- The Refraining From Drugs Until You’re A Teenager Award
- The Resisting The Temptation To Shoot Up In Class Award
- The Keeping Your Voice Low When Taking A Phone Call In Class Award
- The Sitting The Right Way On The Toilet Award
- The Having Your Shoes On The Correct Feet Award
- The Being in Possession Of A Head Award.
I imagine the child was incredibly proud of the recognition bestowed on him that night, what with the mayor and the teachers and the parents applauding his every footstep. Poor kid doesn’t even have the wherewithal to realise it was not an Attendance Award he won; it was a You’re Not Very Bright But At Least You Show Up Award.
Oh dear.
What hope for the future of freelance writing when this is happening?
See what I did there? I wasn’t going to, but I very cleverly linked it to freelance writing.
For SEO purposes.
Freelance writing.
There, I did it again.
About the Author: I have two novels published hardback and paperback by Hodder & Stoughton - The Short Cut and Man On A Murder Cycle. I live on the Murcian coast of Spain with my beautiful wife and daughter. For the past five years I have been working in corporate intelligence for some of the largest companies in the world.
Megan Collins Quinlan | Jul 23, 2011 | Reply
I know you are writing with your tongue firmly in your cheek – however…
My son is 12 and I also attended one of these assemblies this week. he was awarded a trophy for science and ICT. he thoroughly deserved these awards because he is a very bright kid. it doesn’t matter how often I tell him that, he needs to hear it from his teachers and in front of his peers.
My son’s school doesn’t do awards for attendance or tying shoelaces – they focus on achievements in core subjects and so they should. but not all kids are good at academic subjects and they deserve recognition for the things they can do well at.
I am lucky to have two very clever children who do well in all subjects and are well behaved. but not all kids have parents like me and my husband. Some get no encouragement at home and their parents couldn’t care less if they do well or not. So having the school recognise them is important.
Tongue back in cheek now….
Steve | Jul 23, 2011 | Reply
Mark:
Thanks for a desperately needed chuckle.
Steve
Walker | Jul 24, 2011 | Reply
Well, the bonus for some of us in the field already is less (good) competition!
But, really, it is a sad state of affairs that our current culture feels the need to soften every blow, boost every ego and eliminate all chances of seeing the hard,cruel world as it can be sometimes. Your example is a great one and beautifully connected to the topic of freelance writing! Yeah for SEO and creativity-and humor.
Mark Pepper | Jul 24, 2011 | Reply
Hi Megan,
Your comments are appreciated. Yes, my tongue is in my cheek. I go OTT to emphasise a point. I’m sure your kids are very bright, and there are plenty that are. I just think it’s a great shame when you can’t really differentiate between the truly bright and the ones who are failing because of up-marking so kids don’t get upset and schools don’t appear to be failing. My brief time as a secondary school drama teacher was enough to shock me to the core. Kids who can should be allowed to soar. Dumbing down and marking up blurs it all, though. As you say, great parenting skills are essential, now more than ever, and I agree schools need to congratulate achievements, especially in the absence of parental praise. Thanks again, and thanks for taking Pepper with a pinch of salt.
Mark
Mark | Jul 25, 2011 | Reply
Hi Steve,
Thanks, bud. Glad my rancour has some positive effect
Mark | Jul 25, 2011 | Reply
Hi Walker,
I think you’ve commented before on one of my educational rants, and if I didn’t say it then, I’ll say it now: hats off to you for sticking in there. If the teaching profession was full of flakes like me who cannot cope with the kids, then … well, the profession wouldn’t be very full at all.
Mark
George Angus | Jul 25, 2011 | Reply
Mark,
It’s just like in college when the Profs hand out “A”s to everyone who just does the work. Devalues the meaning of the good grade. If everyone receives an award, then there is no more award.
This is especially true in the topsy-turvey, upside down, politically correct freakshow that we know as the United States of America.
George
Mark | Jul 26, 2011 | Reply
Hi George,
I know you’re another one who’s seen all this first-hand. As parents, we just have to plug the gaps as best we can, instil in our kids some sense of reality, and be there to support them right through until we turn our toes up.
Mark