Freelance My Ass
This woman is not "slow"; she is a fuckwit
I don’t have much time for euphemisms. I’m fairly straight-talking and thus like to speak and hear things as they are meant to be spoken and heard. Your writing style may be different to mine, and certain projects will not allow for on-the-nail writing no matter who you are, but my favourite newspaper articles can always be found in the op-ed section. I like opinions on the news rather than just the news.
It struck me the other day that I have a whopper of a euphemism spread throughout my website. If you’re a freelance writer with a website, you’ll have it as well.
It’s the word “freelance”. If you are a writer in full-time gainful employment, you are just a “writer”, or a “self-employed writer”. But “freelance” says something else. It says “please don’t question me on my current work situation as I am probably unemployed or certainly struggling”. “Freelance” is there to pre-empt the inevitable questions that follow any announcement that a person is a writer:
“Have you written anything I may have read?”
“Do you write for a newspaper or magazine?”
“Are you published?”
“Freelance” sits in a fog-shrouded no-man’s land between “employed” and “unemployed”. It is a vague description that means very little, sometimes not even to the people wandering about in there, because, in career terms, they often cannot see further than the end of their nose. It is the same as an actor describing himself as a “jobbing actor”. “Jobbing” automatically says: “I’m not working at the moment, I’m not sure when I may be, so don’t even ask.”
I think “freelance” is somewhat more hopeful than “jobbing”, and certainly sounds more professional, but it can still largely be a euphemism for “struggling”. If you’re not employed by someone full-time, you’re essentially self-employed, so why not just say that?
If you are considering embarking on a career as a writer (whatever that may mean), then you should take heed. We use “freelance” for a reason – it is the nature of this profession that such euphemisms are frequently necessary.
About the Author: I have two novels published hardback and paperback by Hodder & Stoughton - The Short Cut and Man On A Murder Cycle. I live on the Murcian coast of Spain with my beautiful wife and daughter. For the past five years I have been working in corporate intelligence for some of the largest companies in the world.
allena | Nov 17, 2011 | Reply
My 2 best clients have taken to calling me a “consultant”- all on their own. I’m considering making the switch entirely. Although I think I’ll need to check Google. I get a ton of search traffic on freelance I believe…..
Samantha Gluck | Nov 17, 2011 | Reply
I HAD to pull over after dropping my “beautiful chaos” times 3 (kids) off at school this morning to read this post just because of the title. You (and Penelope Trunk) say many of the things that lie silently begging to make themselves heard in my sometimes snarky heart! Awesome! While I agree with most of what you said (I love the Ass in the title — I have two teens), freelance also officially denotes many professional journalists like myself that choose not to join the “regular employee” club at the local newspaper (even a well known one) because of the usually massive pay disparity. Sure, you get health insurance, but you’re really paying for it, yet in denial. That’s one of the reasons fully employed journalists make a pittance of the “everyday sufflin’” freelance journo. I don’t even tell my truly employed journo friends my rates: 1. they would think I was fronting, just to act “all that” 2. they would resent me, since a part of them would know it’s true, even before they went on our little investigative sites to find out the average rate of a freelance journo.
I know this economy is trying and downright hopeless sometimes (hey, what happened to the hope, we took the change, but someone dropped the ball), but I like to do what everyone else says can’t be done. If I were a blogger, and one smart enough to know that I’m not likely to pay my mortgage or even my iPhone bill with the ads on my site, I would hustle, stalk successful (or on the verge) bloggers/writers and get me some of that cashola. Freelancing rarely provides an income you can count on. One month I made thousands, another I’ll make $500 (that’s scary, sort of) — but like other things in life, if you hustle, it will all come around. Help other newbie wanna-bes in your downtime to discover how to make it work or realize they don’t really wanna-be. Help out at the soup kitchen. It will make you grateful that you can put a sentence together that somebody considers paying you for.
Find a mentor that will listen to and address your whining and legit questions, according to the needs of your personality.
Yada, yada, yada –> if you really want to freelance, don’t slink back to the office job. Office jobs are for those folks who make what is thankless for the born freelancer, meaningful and satisfying. Although, Miss CathyinaCubicle efficient office leader may make the office appear appealing and may make the born freelancer feel a twinge of longing, it’s a LIE — ignore it and enjoy your freelance freedom while you’re shufflin’ for work and enjoy those times when you’re so busy, you can’t breathe too! It’s all amazing.
Thankful for writers who say what this Texas belle can’t, but has in her potty mouth, snarky mind (at times) and for my freelancing lifestyle.
Samantha
Mark | Nov 17, 2011 | Reply
Hi Allena,
No, absolutely, I wouldn’t think it’s a good idea to drop “freelance” from any writer’s website. I was just musing on why we need to add the word to our job description, as though “writer” doesn’t really say enough. If we want to specify, it would probably be more useful to differentiate between “professional” and “clueless”. That would help to weed out the opposition a little. Yep, in my main job I am also a “consultant”, which makes me sound vaguely medical, especially with my surname. Cheers for now.
Mark
Mark | Nov 17, 2011 | Reply
My goodness, Samantha, you win the prize for longest comment ever received by me. I appreciate you taking the time. I’m not knocking being a freelancer; I appreciate there are lots of perks to being self-employed – I have rarely in my life been anything else (except mostly unemployed as an actor for 15 years). Jobbing, dear heart, jobbing. Or here’s a worse one: resting. Most actors never work hard enough to need a rest. Laughable. Anyway, love the musing, stream-of-consciousness thing you’ve got going on. Lots of wisdom in there. I expect you’re one of those people who knows that the moon is actually larger than an elephant. I had to look it up. Couple of websites aren’t sure because it looks so small in the sky, but I reckon that’s just a distance thing. Glad you enjoy my ramblings, and thank you for your input. Hasta luego.
Mark
Samantha Gluck | Nov 17, 2011 | Reply
Mark,
I can wax rather in the realm of overdo, being from Texas and all, when faced with trying to quickly and properly convey my thoughts on an issue that moves me — if I comment at all, it probably moved me enough to make me take a breath, realize that I can slow down and have a little commenting fun like those who are in the midst of their breathing, gratefulness, and shufflin’ spells.
I know what you were getting at and I totally agree. I probably just ranted on about my own views on the topic and in true blonde form expected you to glean my thoughts ala Sookie Stackhouse (although I believe my intelligence eclipses her tv version). What I takeaway from your post is this: everyone, nowadays, thinks they’re a freelancer — unemployed (sounds better to your haters than mooch), those who see this persona as romantic in a strange sort of intangible way, and those who try to imitate the object of their stalking to the point where flattery no longer applies (ok, I’m experiencing this one in ways that only Hollywood has captured thus far).
These poseurs, dilute the true and original meaning of the word. On my “resume”, client bait site, I’ll use the words “freelance journalist”, so that news outlets that happen to fall prey and romanced by my swagger will know that I don’t (officially/legally) belong to another rival outfit.
But, you’re right, entrepreneur or something else like Big Texas Aims to Make Big Money while helping all those in her path regardless of their status in the field of writing. OK, I won’t write that description, but I’ll think it while professionally branding myself as the next Penelope Trunk (only not as cool, but just as rich). Perhaps you will then write a blurb for publication somewhere like here that uses all the snark and un-debutante-like language that is dying to escape from my snark-infested brain. It would serve as a charitable act– a catharsis if you will.
Samantha Gluck | Nov 17, 2011 | Reply
@allena You should break it to them that your consultant status warrants a 25% rate increase on select future projects.
Mark | Nov 17, 2011 | Reply
Samantha, have you been reading Virginia Woolf again? Perhaps you need a drink of water; I know you’ve had a drought there. I think you ought to go right ahead and release the snark from your head. Publish and be damned. I’m just amazed that no one has yet told me to shut up and keep my opinions to myself.
You mention the “romantic” element of being freelance. Yes, I think that’s a huge draw for many, and a delusion that quickly fades. While I do indeed tend to swan around my parlour in my silk dressing gown, musing on ethereal matters with quill in hand, most of the day, my cursed bank manager insists I put money in my account every so often which ruins things terribly for me.
I have no idea who Penelope Trunk is. Is that bad? I will look her up.
Well, I do hope I manage to pen something else soon that spurs more of your comments. Quite delightful. Gracias.
Mark
Justin P Lambert | Nov 22, 2011 | Reply
I love this post, especially since I’ve just started removing “freelance” from my website and social media profiles over the last few days. I came to the same conclusion: in my circumstances, “freelance” seems to say I’m less committed than I am. I was freelance until recently. Now I’m working on supporting my family with this crazy writing thing. So now I bill myself as a “Content Marketing Specialist” or some such whatnot.
Who knows if this matters in the end? But it makes me feel a bit better, which is a positive thing.
Mark | Nov 24, 2011 | Reply
Thanks very much, Justin. Although I hope you are very happy in what you do, I am assuming “Content” refers to the material, not your state of mind. God forbid we should ever have to include in our job descriptions our emotional response to them. Cheers for now, and best wishes.
Disgruntled Ex-novelist.
Justin P Lambert | Nov 24, 2011 | Reply
HA! Indeed, if THAT ever becomes necessary, you may just see “Pissed Off Cubicle Jockey” on my e-mail signature!
Thanks again!