The Random Insanity of America

I read a funny story a few days ago involving a guy who ended up getting shot. Okay, that doesn’t sound terribly funny. Perhaps it was just the irony of the situation.

Baldrick, have you no idea what “irony” is?
Yes, it’s like “goldy” and “bronzy” only it’s made out of iron.

Classic Blackadder. Anyway, irony must make me laugh just as much as funny because I laughed out loud when reading the story. I don’t think the headline helped very much. Written by the illustrious Associated Press, the journalist responsible (as opposed to the responsible journalist – always good to make that distinction with journalists) plumped for a longer headline that explained the entire article rather than something snappy that kept the surprise for the body of the article itself:

“Man writing book called ‘The Kindness of America’ shot while hitchhiking in Montana.”

I’m sorry, forgive me, I just sniggered again.

Hey, and you thought freelance writing was a safe and sedentary endeavour. Apparently not for Ray Dolin, 39, of West Virginia. To quote the AP, he was a week into “hitchhiking across the country and writing a memoir about kindness” when he was shot for no sane reason.

Dolin was eating his lunch beside the road when a car pulled up. Obviously thinking this would be another one for the book – a motorist stopping to pick him up without even being waved down – Dolin approached the car and was promptly shot in the arm. He’s now recovering in hospital, and the perp was swiftly caught. Good news if you’re planning something similar because you also think hitchhiking alone in the American wilderness isn’t a recipe for disaster. You and Dolin clearly don’t watch the same movies I do.

Apparently, the whole state of Montana is now in therapy, as the local sheriff is quoted as saying: “We’re still the wonderful people in Montana we’ve always been, and we’ll get through this.”

Yes, a mostly wonderful state peppered with the odd nutcase. I think Dolin should continue his trip but with the intention of writing about all the assholes he meets along the way. That way, if good ol’ irony hops in his rucksack again, he should have a perfectly pleasant journey.

Here’s the link if you want to read the whole thing: http://www.grandforksherald.com/event/article/id/238502/

UPDATE 19 June

This story gets better and better. I just stumbled across an update this morning, and it’s a hoot. You can read the article at the link below, but here’s the gist. Unable to find any evidence against the man they’d arrested, police became suspicious and returned to the scene of the shooting and found a Derringer pistol in a nearby field. The gun traced back to Dolin, who had bought it before leaving home.

Yes, that’s right. Dolin bought himself a gun and shot himself in the arm to create publicity for his book.

Now that’s what you call desperate.

But, you know what? I bet he’ll make a fortune.

http://thetandd.com/news/national/hitchhiker-shooting-seen-as-hoax-when-no-gun-found/article_c25efed2-8e97-5c43-99d4-b820d8f34e93.html